Legia Warszawa fans took their club’s clash with Real Madrid last night very literally, stirring up their own conflict over an Australian woman travelling overseas.
After losing to Real Madrid 5-1, fans left the Santiago Bernabeu stadium looking to defeat the Spanish in another sport, the sport of love.
It is alleged that as the fans descended the thousands of escalators within the stadium towers, they noticed Spanish men ogling and catcalling a hot blonde woman from Australia.
Not long after that, it was game on as Spanish and Polish fans turned their language from the perverse to the profane and used the phrase ‘Let’s get physical’ in a less-frisky-more-feisty way.
The police finally decided to get involved when one Polish man slapped a Spanish senor across the face with an appendage.
It is still not known what appendage was used in the fight, but the five men involved have been charged with indecent behaviour while the appendage-slapper was arrested and detained in Madrid’s highest-security prison last night.
We were able to catch up with the blonde bombshell, Megan Stafford, that found herself the proverbial football in this violent match.
Hola Megan. So, tell us about your experience last night. It must have been quite surprising to find yourself in the middle of men fighting for your attention?
“To be honest, I was more surprised that Ronaldo got a yellow card during the actual match,” Ms Stafford said.
“I mean I’m quite new to football, but on all the fan jerseys and worldwide you hear Ronaldo this, Ronaldo that, and for him to get a yellow card, I found myself questioning not only his sportsmanship but also his ethics.”
Right, of course, that’s an excellent observation. But the men, there were no surprises there?
“Ummm, I’m a white, blonde woman. And not only that, look at me. I do well in my own country. Put this in a foreign country, not only am I white, blonde and female, but I’m exotic, and better yet, I’m Australian. I hope I don’t need to explain this further.”
Do you think that new policies should be introduced to try and stem this kind of behaviour?
“Listen, I’ll be honest. I was very disappointed when I arrived at the match to find my only alcoholic option was ‘mixed beer’, which, let’s be honest, is just soft drink with a slight yeast infection.
“I’m surprised I could even see the menu through the haze of all the chain-smoking fans you seem to have here in Spain.
“That would never happen in Australia where we actually care about our sports fans’ lungs and their livers.
“To answer your question, I think drugs are definitely the problem. Give people that watery mess long enough and you are bound to make them turn to drugs.
“And, while I appreciate that the frisking upon entering the stadium is a homosexual affair – woman on woman, man on man – I think there should be a bit more of a robust frisk.
“I saw a man with a flask, so you’ve got to wonder, ‘Where was he hiding that?’ The most likely answer was the only thing that stopped me asking for a taste.”
After the game, did you have any further interaction with the five men involved in the altercation?
“Those five men specifically? No.”
So there you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth.
Last month, Legia Warszawa fans were also charged with similar indecent behaviour during a match in Dortmund.
It is not known whether Ms Stafford was also at this game.